Texas-isms

"Texas, our Texas, All hail the mighty State. Texas, our Texas
So wonderful, so great!" -State Anthem

The Great State of Texas, as it is known to its habitants, or Texas, as it is known to everyone else, has many things to be proud of. It is the largest of the lower 48 states. It was once its own country, and it has its very own brand of rough, tough, real-stuff, god-fearing, Yankee-disliking folk. Most are German. Or Czech. It has one of the best food genres ever created: Tex-Mex. Who doesn't love a good burrito? It's home to NASA, the American Quarter Horse Association, the Rio Grande, the Guadalupe Mountains, Live Oaks, Copperheads and Water Moccasins, Scorpions, Cacti, Texas-sized Rats, Roaches and Rattlers, as well as many a Texas-Shaped waffle iron. The people are as diverse as the environment, and the state is so huge that it even has two distinct dialects: A West Texas Drawl and an East Texas Twang. It has taken a while, but I have finally figured out the difference and can place a person based on their accent now. It's a skill, believe me.

Bluebonnets. I think they're weeds, but I would never tell
a Texan that. Liable to get hanged, them's fightin' words.

Being such a large and special state, Texas has developed its own words and interpretations of words. It's fascinating to have a conversation with a Texan. All they talk about is Texas and Texas things, and then they go and put Texas words in there while they're talking about Texas and Texas things, and before too long the out-of-stater is completely baffled. So, if any of you will be visiting the Great State of Texas in the near future, make sure you look out for these words and phrases:

· Howdy: Do not be alarmed. This is a friendly greeting all over the state, but it is used in the most concentration in the areas around College Station, where the Aggies grow. Return it, wave, or nod to acknowledge their greeting, or they will tag you as a Northerner for sure. 

· Restroom: If you are a Canadian, never use the word "Washroom". You will promptly be given a quizzical look and directed to the nearest Laundro-mat. It's a restroom, though I haven't the slightest idea as to why- I have never used it to rest. Ever.

Snakes. Everywhere.

· Fixin': This is a word used to indicate the intention or current action of an individual. Rarely is it used in the normal context of, "I am fixin' the sink." Rather, its most common use is, "I was fixin' to head on out to the Wal-Mart, if ya need anythin'." Or, "I am fixin' yer dinner, ya flea-bitten lout, now git off yer butt and git yer own cool beverage!"

· Might-could: As odd as this phrase is, it is actually used now and again, especially in a rural area. It means, "You may be able to..." as in, "I might-could go dancing tonight, if mah truck will start."

· Awhalgo or Whalgo (Ah-Wall-Go or Wall-Go): Literally a brand new conjunction for the phrase, "A While Ago." This one will get you every time, guys. Be prepared for it, they all say it, none of them notice it.

I wasn't kidding. These are everywhere, too.

· Uh-Huh: While we northerners prefer real words in affirmation of our recent verbal outpourings, in Texas a simple "uh-huh" will suffice. It is quick. It is lazy. It is so easy to fall into, you won't be here a week before you, too, start saying it with gusto. Proper usage is key, so make sure you aren't sticking it in every sentence like a madman.

· Turd-Floater: A rain so hard that the poops in the pastures float away. It happens.

· Bless their Heart: You can say any number of nasty, horrible, gossipy, not-very-nice things about pretty much anyone so long as you premise it with "Bless their Heart." Useful when talking to people who are friends with someone you strongly dislike.

· Y'all: Perhaps the single most-used conjunction in the entire state, y'all literally means "You All." Texans use this for everything, from greetings to threats. They might double up and say "All y'all," which means, as you can only imagine, "all you all." While it makes northerners cringe, it is again one of those words that can so easily slip into one's vocabulary. I am now a regular Y'all-er, though to my knowledge I have never said "all y'all," at least not yet.

Well, that is a crash course in Texanisms. I hope you find it useful and informative. NOTE: This is NOT a comprehensive list of Texas Talk. I am not liable for any misunderstandings.

Have a good day, y'all!